SHAKING HANDS, MANNERS, BEING TRUE TO YOUR WORD AND A FEW NECESSARY PUNCHES TO THE FACE!


Every day, I get a little more and more disappointed and disenchanted by today's society in general. It seems that manners, ethics, morals, values, integrity, honesty and being a decent fucking human being are slowly dying. I consider myself an individual. My own man. Unique. I don’t fit into any certain mold or genre and don’t want to. But I will never negate the core values of the good ol’ fashioned days and the good ol’ fashioned ways.

 The world I come from is a world where you stand up to shake a man or woman’s hand, look them in the eye and have proper and courteous introductions. I will never forget a very significant emotional experience I personally had at 24 years old. I was the Sales Manager at a Gold’s Gym in Princeton New Jersey, and the gym owner hired a new General Manager. He was a former Sergeant Major in the Marine Corps. He came into my office and introduced himself. While seated, I offered him my hand but didn’t stand up. It wasn’t intentional or meant as disrespect. I just didn’t know any better. He pulled my 250 lb ass up out of the chair and told me “Son, when a man shakes your hand, you stand up and look him in the eye and show some courtesy and respect.” I was like “Hell yes sir, my bad!” And in my mind, I was like “Hell yes, I like this guy!” “I can learn from him.”

 I wasn’t raised by a “Man’s Man.” I never had the experiences where I drank a beer with my Dad, worked on cars with him, learned about girls or sports, or really had much coaching or impact in my life. My Dad was a good man though. He provided for me, the results of being a workaholic, and perhaps genetically he passed on the HARD WORK WORKS gene. I figured most of how to be a man on my own. I consider myself mostly self-made. So having this man as a Mentor, a Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps no less, played a huge role on impacting me, inspiring me and shaping me into the man I am today.

 Back to my point about being disenchanted with today's society and culture:

 A handshake tells me almost all I need to know about you without saying any words at all. 68% of all communication is non-verbal. I taught my son Diesel at 3 years old how to shake the hand of a man or woman, look him or her in the eyes, introduce himself and ask their name. So anyone over the age of 18 should have zero excuses for shitty handshakes and weak manners. Period. Learn the skill. They should teach it in school. Not kidding.

 Additionally, what you say you will do is what you should do. It’s your word. Your bond. Your signature. It shows who you are and what you stand for. More often than not, I am more shocked when someone actually delivers on what they promise, versus the other way around. Does that mean I accept mediocrity? Not at all. I just expect it and have become accustomed to it. Bottom line, people either need to learn how to commit and execute, or learn the value and truth of saying “NO.” That’s a whole different lesson for another day though.

 And don’t even get me started on manners. Courtesy. Conversation. Holding a door for someone or saying please or thank you or excuse me. Being a decent fucking human being. When did it become so cool and accepted to be rude, cold, disrespectful, entitled and allow people to feel they were so special? You know what would fix all that? A few hard punches to the face. A natural reset by society. Is that harsh? Maybe, but it's  necessary sometimes. Think of that person that deserves it and has for quite some time. They are acting how they shouldn’t, time and time again and “POW!” a nice hard punch to the face. I promise you, that’ll fix everything.

 Ok, so maybe life isn’t really this intense and I am ranting and raving. There are a lot of great people out there. Not everybody sucks. But think about my words. It is up to us to reset society and bring up a generation of kids that reverse the direction we are headed as a society. I pledge to do my part and already am with my 2 children and my own actions. ARE YOU?


4 comments


  • Tim Banford

    Thanks Rachel and Dino!

    Tim – Well said my friend. I wholeheartedly agree. Somewhere along the lines, we became too protective of our children. Told them they could be anything they wanted and do anything they wanted. We babied them, did for them, spoiled them, and pumped their head full of a lot of non truths, over-inflated self worth and self value. Then, the real world hit after school was over and it didn’t mesh with the world Mom and Dad promised them existed and one that they would fit into well. Not everyone though, lots of kids are still being raised right. When I was a kid, neighbors parents, your teachers, employers, hell, even strangers, played a role in raising you. And parents allowed other adults to impact kids and tell them things they needed to hear. Nowadays, parents get real protective and sensitive on anyone calling “Little Billy” out on his bullshit. Just my non -solicited and $0.02 of OPINION!


  • Dino

    well said brother!!


  • TIm Reed

    Great read! This is scratches the surface on the absolutely ridiculous and utterly transcendent pussification of society as a whole. I always said I was born in the wrong generation, and it’s becoming more clear every day. Unfortunately it seems the days of good old fashioned hard work, character, integrity, and even simple manners are fading FAST. The younger generation, MY generation, full of participation trophies and safe space pansies would rather be handed something for free than bust their ass to earn it. Pride is dead. Self respect is dying. And work ethic is antiquated. Raise those kids up right. Maybe we can turn it around. But “disenchanted” is the most modest term I would use to describe my view on today’s society. Great post ??


  • Rachel

    Perfect!!


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